ok, now i totally remember, blake on rb was including the most worthless technical details in his ratings so this was in honor of him. I think he would include the exact time he had it, who was sitting next to him, all kinds of good stuff.

As anyone can tell just by merely glancing at my reviews, I've received a fair amount of flack (on various sites!) for my reviews being both too long and too inane -- yeah, often including useless details and (sometimes) stories...! [:)] But let's just say that if anybody catches me including the exact time, phase of the moon, high- or low-tide, or astrological sign that the beer happend to be tasted under, they have my blessing to slap me upside the head repeatedly...! [:p] //TB

quote: Originally posted by Brett I just saw the review below and it inspired this topic. We've all read many good beer reviews, but what are your favorites. It doesn't matter if you like them because they're funny, accurate, detailed.... whatever. Here's one of my fav's:

I find those kind of reviews comical. Despite the "saracastic reviews will be deleted" comment as you enter your review, I think it's good to have a lighter side mixed in the reviews. LOL @ the reference to the cat.

"...and Sean sent my 19 meaningless im's..." dead giveaway that it was ice

quote: "In homage to the troupe... A lot of people in this country pooh-pooh Yorkshire ales. This is a pity as many fine Yorkshire ales appeal not only to the English palate, but also to the brewing cognoscenti of Wales and the Shetland Islands. Black Stump ale is rightly praised as a peppermint flavoured Porter, whilst a good Sheffield Syrup can rank with any of the world's best sugary brews. Castle Brown, too, has won many prizes; not least for its taste, and its lingering afterburn. Old Smokey Stout 1968 has been compared favourably to Scottish bog water, whilst the Yorkshire Pub Crawlers' Society thoroughly recommends a 1970 Belch au Guinness, which, believe me, has a kick on it like a mule: 3 cases of this and you're really finished. At the opening of the Leeds Darts Tournament, they were fishing them out of the main sewers every half an hour. Of the lighter beers, the most famous is Holmfirth Heavy. This is a bottle with a message in, and the message is 'beware'. This is not a beer for drinking, this is a beer for laying down and avoiding. Another good fighting brew is Compo's Old-and-Yellow, which is particularly heavy and should be used only for hand-to-hand combat. Quite the reverse is true of Swindon Shandy, which is an appellation not from Yorkshire per se, but from much farther south and is specially brewed for those ladies keen on regurgitation; a fine light beer blend which really opens up the sluices at both ends. Real emetic fans will also go for a Hull Muddy, and a prize winning Imperial Yorkshire Special Reserve Anglican Abbey Quadruple, which has a bouquet like a highland Scot's armpit. Finally we have Python (Monty) Holy Grail Ale, which produces a lovely glass of bronze (age) liquid with a delicate head, like an undernourished Frenchman on his second bottle of absinthe. The aroma has a sweet maltiness which, sadly, doesn't translate to the palate. What does come through is a smack of hops at the end that leaves a clean, dry feeling that can only be remedied with another swig. This is an acceptable ale and, although not worthy of having the label tattooed on my bum, I wouldn't relegate it to rinsing out the hog trough either. I'll give it one bent thumb up!"

- SummerwineFan's review of Mony Python's Holy Grail. 3.2. Very good review!

Just found this one for "Dos Equis XX Special Lager", the guy just started today so I wasn't too sure if it was reasonable for me to point it out, but it's a hell of a way to start your critics!! He also gave it a 4.8 rating !!!!!!!!!! "Humble, smooth, rich, and delightful its the best beer out there u fags dont kno what your missing with giving it like a 4 for a grade no no i say 10 the best beer u have summin against mexicans ? the beers are awesome there " [}:)]

quote: Originally posted by S8N u have summin against mexicans ?

thats funny shiet! what a crazy man

quote: Originally posted by S8N Just found this one for "Dos Equis XX Special Lager", the guy just started today so I wasn't too sure if it was reasonable for me to point it out, but it's a hell of a way to start your critics!! He also gave it a 4.8 rating !

I'm glad you pointed it out, so that I could delete it. I haven't spent thousands of my own time and dollars creating a website for people to make stupid garbage reviews like this. If you're not going to say anything descriptive about a beer or have to use the word "fags" in your review, don't expect it to last long. I know some people like to make jokes in their reviews, and I'll deal with that as long as they say something serious about the review and it's not offensive. In the near future I'll be putting "report this review" links on the reviews to help clean up the immature trash.

This is just an odd perfect 10 review for Samuel Smiths Nut Brown ALe by Asland... "This has to be my favorite ale. I once read this book entitled Trails in the Sand by Peter Dragon. Peter was a millacious newborn with functional extremities...you should read it."

"I haven't spent thousands of my own time and dollars creating a website for people to make stupid garbage reviews like this. If you're not going to say anything descriptive about a beer or have to use the word "fags" in your review, don't expect it to last long. I know some people like to make jokes in their reviews, and I'll deal with that as long as they say something serious about the review and it's not offensive. In the near future I'll be putting "report this review" links on the reviews to help clean up the immature trash." Right on, Flash. Sic 'em, boy!