Kingston Pilsner Beer

Aroma: 5 | Appearance: 2 | Mouthfeel: 3 | Flavor: 2 | Overall: 2

Thanks Dad..... now say that phrase as sarcastically as possible - like Bart and Lisa Simpson would. What a shit ass beer! Just stunk right from the pour. This will be flushed immediately. The beauty of this total crap beer is that I know it's fresh cause my parents just brought it back from Jamaica. This is what it smells and tastes like fresh (and I can only imagine how brutal this is not fresh): Aroma: stank ass stank stank, skunk and then pee... and I'll have to specify here and say that it can be no other than skunk pee or the pee of a bloated skunk corpse on the side of the road that has just been popped by the tires on a tractor. Maybe this more closely resembles the odor of the perfume that a dirty, meth addicted prostitute would "freshen" up with. Chemicals and, well, I just can't describe this smell as it is putrid and has absolutely no resemblance to a beer. The taste is hardly beer either with dust, very slight sweetness - what the hell did they brew this mess with? Molted dreadlocks? It's horrible! It is, however, more drinkable than smellable - yes, smellable. I just invented that word. Brutally foamy, thin and a - wait!! what is this? a... a..... a malty finish? Can it be? Kill these people for producing this ghastly disaster.

Aroma: 6 | Appearance: 3 | Mouthfeel: 5 | Flavor: 2 | Overall: 2

Poured a clear yellow color with a weak head. It had aromas of grain and corn. The flavors were bland with lots of adjunct ingredients. The carbonation didnt last long at all. It was just generally a bad beer. I had this one at the Cricketers Pub at the Sandals Royal Caribbean Resort in Montego Bay, Jamaica on my honeymoon.